Could you imagine having more time and less stress?
During our “New Parent Orientation” meeting Friday I asked this question: What is your biggest challenge as a parent right now?
One of the most common answers was “I just do not have enough time for everything I need to do!”
Fortunately we can apply many of the techniques we teach and use in our Leadership Program. In order to be a leader you must master the ability to get things done and be effective. These tips just might help “give you more time”.
First, if you want to be constantly in stress and feeling like a failure believe these two impossible stories:
“I have to get everything done, I need to be perfect”, and
“All I need is more time.”
Here is the most POWERFUL lesson in this article: You can change your life and take control of your time by replacing these impossible beliefs with these two more realistic and empowering stories and beliefs:
“I am a highly successful person so I cannot get everything on my plate done, I just have to choose the right things”, and
“I have all the time I need” (because everyone has the same amount of time – 24 hours!)
There is one major obstacle working against you. You will have to fight human nature! As mothers, you are hardwired to be “nurturers”. You give everything and do everything thing for others and very little for yourselves. You are expected to be the perfect wife, mother, chef, house cleaner, employee, PTO member, and twelve other things!
Okay, so what do you do? First, there is no such thing as time management. It is really about “priority management”. Here are three tips:
Know your highest priorities: It is so easy to not only get overwhelmed with all you have to do but also get lulled into a pattern where you as just “so busy being busy”. Everything you do does not have the same urgency nor the same importance. Take a moment and sit down to write down all the things you do each day and rank them in importance. Are some of the urgent things you do more someone else’s urgency? You will find that much of your stress comes when you are not getting to the important tasks because the urgent or low value ones take all your time. What might be high on your importance list? Time to read to your child? Time to talk with your spouse? Time to spend on yourself?
The 80/20 rule: This is also known as the Pareto Principle which says that 80% of your success as a mother comes from 20% of your activities. Now just take that same list from above and identify the 20% of your tasks that produce 80% of the value to you and your family. Again, you will lower your stress and increase your happiness and fulfillment when you get more of the important things done.
Choose what you do NOT do: Here is what will put you over the top as the “leader” of your household. Since they cannot do it all, highly effective leaders know – what is more important than choosing what you do is choosing what you do NOT do! Yes, this is the completely opposite mindset of the “I have to do everything perfectionist”! Intentionally decide on the things you will not do. Then they either will not get done (and make little difference) or find ways to either lessen the time required or find a way for someone else to do it or help you with it.
Two final topics:
Often overlooked because moms are nurturer is the fact that one of the most valuable, important, and productive things you can do with your time is !Mothers find that even just a couple hours a week either working out, reading, learning, socializing, quiet time or on a hobby will make you a much better wife, mother, employee, and person!
There is no such thing as “balance” (in the life of a highly successful person).In reality balance means you do everything at an equal/average level.What you really need to do to be sane and successful is !The only question is – which things?I always get this question:“”I answer it in this way:“
So do you appreciate what you have? You have wonderful kids……..and all the time you need for both them and YOU!
You have one of the hardest jobs in the world…….and one of the most rewarding.
‘Till next time!
Yours for Rock Solid Kids (and a less stressed you),
Sensei