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Will they hit their little sister?

Here is a common question I get from parents when they are looking to start a child at our dojo - “If my child learns karate I am afraid they will get more aggressive and use it on their siblings?”

I tell the parent they may be quite surprised when the opposite happens! I want to take a little time to explain why. Our new training theme is “I am Strong and Kind!”.

It is significant that the word “Strong” comes before the word “Kind”. But this is how it works. It takes Strength and Courage to be kind and compassionate. If you are in the state of fear or weakness you cannot be kind. As a matter of fact, all children behave the way they do for a reason. Most often they act out inappropriately out of fear. They act out for attention which is a result of the fear or jealousy they will not be loved or enough. A child will lie or cheat out of a fear of being caught or not looking good/winning. A child will be mean or abusive or controlling out of fear. Bullies bully out of fear. The same goes for adults. If you look at most things we do that are not good for us or others it is out of fear.

Think for a moment of someone extremely kind and compassionate? Now think of someone mean, abusive or controlling. Who lives with more fear? Doesn’t it seem like the stronger they are the kinder they become?

If you meet most black belts you will find them to be the most powerful and courageous people around yet the kindest and most caring. It should be no surprise because the stronger you get the kinder you become.

So to answer the parent’s question: “Your child will actually become stronger and kinder because of karate!”

For Strong and Kind children,


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