Struggle and Failure is Good

Dear Parent,

Our current SEL+ lesson is on Grit – “Shoot the basketball”. So, what is “grit” and why is it important to you and your child?

Here is a good definition:

Grit is a distinct combination of passion, resilience, determination, and focus that allows a person to maintain the discipline and optimism to persevere in their goals even in the face of discomfort, rejection, and a lack of visible progress for years, or even decades.

As parents, just remember these two words – Persistence and Perseverance. Does your child back away or hesitate when they have to do something hard? Have they learned to be a “picker and chooser”, doing things they like but not doing things they do not? Do they shut down or have a tantrum when they fail or struggle?

Or, do they get up even stronger every time they get knock down or fail? Do they get even more passionate or motivated the harder something is or the longer it takes? Do they work even harder on the things they do not like or are not good at?

There is plenty of research and articles on the internet with the conclusion grit is by far the most significant determining factor for success in life. It is clear grit and hard work beat talent and brain every time.

The reason to develop grit in your child is clear. And the habit of grit is developed early.

How do you develop grit in your child? I believe there is only one way. Your child has to repeatedly experience physically and emotionallystruggling and failing then power through this emotion by themselves.

Another element of grit is – learning how to do things you do not want to do.

As a parent just become more aware of all the big and small ways your child struggles and failure then take full advantage of each as a valuable learning opportunity. Once your awareness skills as a parent develop you can not only hold back from shielding them or stepping in, but even more powerful, you can start creating chances for your child to struggle and fail. Their confidence and courage will grow as they feel and become “capable”.

Just remember this, struggling and failing is GOOD. Not only is it is good, it is vital for your child’s development. The more they get early in life the stronger they will be.

Yours for stronger kids,

Sensei